My Slightly Documented Path

A BABY STORY

Ok...I'm back.  A long hiatus taken, rightfully so with a newby on our hands.  Everly Ava Miller.  A name we love.  Middle name taken from her oldest angel cousin that we want to pay tribute to.  We love you, Ava Soos.

I'm going to rewind briefly to spit out this birth story - partly for my own memory down the line (as this is taking the place of a diary) and partly because it started out pretty funny, at least I thought so.  Sunday, October 20, 2013, 2:30am.  I'm startled by an unconventional wake up call.  A pat, or I should say, smack on my butt by mine truly - Cole.  In retrospect I think I rolled over and bumped into him and in his sleep he patted my butt to let me know it was ok.  It was these 2 "good game" pats on my butt that startled me and suddenly a water break! I quickly smacked Cole and loudly announced, "I think my water just broke?!"  He shot up out of bed and followed me to the bathroom so that we could inspect the situation.  It turns out we were indeed heading down Labor Lane!  Trying our best to not get too excited about this little development (fully realizing we could be in labor for a while), we got back into bed and attempted sleep.  5 minutes later I ask him, "You awake - YEP!"

Contractions began about 3am and we decided to walk the dogs.  We got 100 yards or so with the dogs and contractions were more and more uncomfortable so we went back inside.  We hunkered down on the couch in blankets and turned on Stars Wars - Cole's super exciting (kid in a candy store excited), Costco purchase from the day before that we had to have.  I stared blankly at the tv unable to focus on the movie and decided to text family that this is happening.  I even face timed with the Soos' between contractions.  After I got out of the shower around 4am, contractions were stronger and a minute apart.  I really didn't get a slow introduction to this labor thing.  It was fast and hard.  I have never felt a stronger desire to have Cole right beside me in my entire life.  I needed his face to be against mine, talking to me, soothing me, reminding me to breathe as my belly hardened into a rock and my body contorted against the contraction, all the while he reminding me to relax.  He was my life support.  Cole and I labored in our dark apartment together for 5 hours.  In between contractions we shared tears of excitement.  It was beautiful.  It was awful.  And finally when it got unbearable, we made the decision to make our way to the car.  It took us about an hour to actually get into the car.  My contractions were on top of each other, giving us little time for the break we needed to get me down the stairs and into the car!  My eyes were closed the entire 20 minute drive to Hoag Hospital.  I was trying so hard to concentrate on relaxing and staying completely still through every contraction.  If my body moved, even an inch, my pain level sky rocketed to heights I had never been, seen, or ever want to experience again (though I'm sure a few years will change that opinion).  Upon arrival, we disappointingly discovered valet was closed.  2 options: I could stay in the wheel chair in front of the hospital, in the cold fog waiting for Cole to park the car, or I could go with him.  I chose the latter option.  I did not, would not, could not be separated from him.  We stopped 3 times before we got back to that wheel chair so that I could drop my weight into his arms while he held me up through every contraction.  Finally the wheel chair.  Enter hospital, elevator, and arrive on labor and delivery unit.  Bright lights.  Did I mention bright, shining, fluorescent lights?  The kind that blind you, make you grimace against their crappy aura.  I felt like Dorothy in Wizard of Oz, clicking my heels and chanting "there is no place like home, there is no place like home."  A nurse came into our room and before Cole could let her know we were attempting a natural birth, void of drugs, and as little interventions as possible given mom and baby were safe, I was offered drugs.  The seed was planted.  10 minutes and practically 10 contractions later, they admitted me after confirming I was indeed in active labor.  Thanks.  No kidding.

I barely noticed the view of the beautiful Newport harbor upon entering our labor and delivery room.  A club med hotel view, really.  It was gorgeous.

More bright fluorescent lights.  Then questions.  Tons of questions from the nurses.  I couldn't talk.  Don't they realize this?  Cole tried to answer the majority of the standard hospital admitting questions that he could.  All the while, I tried to pretend I wasn't there.  I tried so hard at finding that happy place.

10am. 7 cm dilated.  I was done.  When I finally admitted that to myself and to Cole, within 15 minutes the anesthesiologist was in our room prepping an epidural.  He was there so quickly it was as if he was hiding in the closet just waiting for us to say those 4 words - I want an epidural.  The nurse pushed a narcotic into my iv that would help me relax while waiting for the epidural.  Man, narcotics are nuts.  Within seconds of the narcotic hitting my vein, I felt like I was swimming in a warm pool.  My ears were blocked, my frown literally turned upside down (so cliche, I know), and I was steadied in my bed.  While the anesthesiologist prepped, Cole came around to the bed and looked me in the eyes.  I could tell he was scared.  I think he was most scared I would regret my decision than the idea of a giant needle puncturing its way directly into my spine.  I looked at him and muttered, "I want it.  I have to.  I can't take it.  I am done."  He smiled and held me through the next few contractions.

A whole new world.  I could kick my feet up and relax.  Crack a joke.  Smile at Cole.  Even play some cards.  Our labor lives were changed immensely by this epidural.  I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked at the fetal heart and contraction monitor.  Here I was having steep, cresting contractions and feeling nothing.  It is unbelievable and scary - how intense this concoction of drugs is.  It manages to completely numb you from the worst pain in your life.  I hated it, yet thanked it.

Two hours later and the nurse said I was 9.5 cm dilated and could start practice pushing.  I just stared at her blankly.  Practice push?  You mean, I'm going to be having a baby soon?  It was going by so fast.  I almost wanted the process to slow down so I could enjoy a little more.  So I could feel it.  I think the epidural induced a dreamlike state that made everything fly by in front of my face, all the while being an audience member observing it not an active participant.  That's how the next 20 minutes felt.  Cole held my legs back while the nurse coached me on how to push.  Within a couple practice pushes Cole's face changed.  He suddenly said, "nurse I can see the head."  WHAT?!  How can he see my baby's head and I couldn't feel anything!?!  Oh epidural you are crazy.  At this point the nurse had us hold back until the doctor arrived 10 minutes later.

There was a mirror placed so that I could see.  See, but not feel.  Just crazy! 3 pushes later and Doctor Diaz says, "Lindsay look down!"  At this point, I realized I wasn't looking down because I was busy looking in the mirror.  The next image that flashed before my eyes was the most incredible image I have ever seen up to this point in my life.  I don't think I will see anything that will top this.  My baby's head was turning to look at me.  Just a head.  This light blue-colored head spinning around and grimacing in my direction!  I couldn't believe it.  Half a push later and the rest of it came right out.  Pause everything here.  PAUSE.  Please?  As I mentioned before it just flew by.  I wish I could stop the clock and be in this moment forever.  At 1:09 pm my baby was out and on its way to my chest.  This warm, wet, beautiful baby on top of me squirming and crying.  Cole yells, "Oh my god, it's a girl!"  And he fell into me while we cried.  Here she was.  8 months and 5 days from the day we found out we were pregnant, we met her.  We felt her.  We heard her.  We loved her with everything we had and continue to.

Facts:
Weight: 8 pounds 4.8 ounces
Height: 20 inches
Name: Everly Ava Miller

Pure love.  Thank you for reading.

 Our big, beautiful, baby girl!

 Dad doing skin-to-skin with Everly!

 Hi sweet baby!

Our first extrauterine meeting!